As the mantra goes, “fed is best.” Some women choose to breastfeed for a few weeks or months, others for a few years, and still others not at all. Any way you go about it is more than fine, as long as your baby is getting the nourishment they need. If you do go the breastfeeding (or pumping) route, there will eventually come a point when you’re toying with stopping. But how do you know when it’s really time, and is there a right way to stop breastfeeding? Whether you stop breastfeeding by choice or because of circumstances out of your control, here are a few things to keep in mind.
When to stop breastfeeding
While breastfeeding is hard for most new moms in the first few weeks, if you’ve been in a good rhythm for a while and find yourself dreading it, that may be something to pay attention to. “Whenever I hear ‘I am dreading the next time I have to nurse/pump,’ that’s a time where I’ll troubleshoot a mom’s issues or remind her: Happy mom, happy baby,” says Heidi Brooks, PhD, CLC, CSC, a fertility support practitioner and owner of EatSleepDream. “Mom’s wellbeing takes priority, so whatever choice she makes that is going to enable her to mother in her best way is the best choice for her.” If you aren’t enjoying breastfeeding or it’s bringing on too much extra stress, anxiety or pain—yes, even in those early days, and even if you haven’t “tried for very long”—this may be a sign to stop, as well. “The decision to end breastfeeding is very personal and each breastfeeding parent does what is best for them and their baby,” assures Katy Linda, IBCLC, RLC, owner of The Breastfeeding Den. Sometimes, the decision to stop breastfeeding doesn’t have to do with pain or dread, but with outside factors that aren’t in a mom’s control. Research has found that some of these include: “difficulties with lactation, infant nutrition and weight, illness or need to take medicine, and the effort associated with pumping milk.” There are also social and employment barriers that may come into play, including the lack of maternity leave (the United States ranks last in its offerings for paid leave), that may even make someone decide to stop breastfeeding before they would like to. And then there are those moms who have been breastfeeding for a year or more, and wondering when and how to call it quits. According to Linda, babies are biologically wired to wean somewhere between 2 and 5 years old, but many women stop before then due to the outside factors mentioned above, which can cause a decrease in milk supply and decrease oxytocin levels. Should you still be breastfeeding into toddlerhood, however, there are some signs to watch out for that your child is naturally ready to stop on their own. “I hear from mothers who tell me they know it’s time to wean when babies just don’t seem interested anymore,” reveals lactation consultant Dianne Cassidy, MA, IBCLC, ALC, CCE and co-creator of the Badass Breastfeeding Podcast. “Mom will try to put them to the breast and they will wiggle away to go play, they will not seem interested in nursing, and they will easily go to bed or take naps without nursing.”
What happens to your body when you stop breastfeeding
Once you’ve made the decision to stop breastfeeding, it’s time to make a plan of action. While lactation consultants say the method for stopping will depend on the age of the child and how long you’ve been breastfeeding, the overall recommendation is to wean, and to expect it to take some time. Besides the risk of clogged milk ducts or painful mastitis, you’re actually at greater risk for postpartum depression if you stop breastfeeding too abruptly. “If a mother stops breastfeeding/pumping without weaning in a controlled manner, she is risking post-weaning depression, which happens when the hormonal surge from weaning abruptly impacts a mother in a negative way,” explains Cassidy. “Breastfeeding is very hormonal, and the immediate dislocation of nursing can throw a mother into a postpartum depressive-like state.” Cassidy adds that these hormonal changes can be surprising. Many people don’t expect to feel sad, especially if they’re confident in their choice or have been breastfeeding for years. An article published in a 2014 edition of Paediatrics Child Health addresses this early on, stating that while the independence from either breastfeeding or pumping can be exhilarating, it’s natural to feel sad that your baby is moving to a new developmental phase. “When parents decide they are ready to begin the weaning process, it’s best to do it slowly and gently,” adds Linda. “The first session to cut is the one that the baby is least attached to, if we’re cutting breastfeeding sessions. If a parent is pumping several times a day, they can adjust their schedule to space the pumping sessions out a bit and cut one of them. They should stay there for a week or two until their body has adjusted, and then move on to the next one.” Brooks adds that there’s no set way to wean, because weaning can look different whether you’re nursing or pumping or dealing with an infant or toddler. “The one constant in a weaning protocol is time," says Brooks. “Go slowly and let your body catch up to your brain. Dropping a pump or feed a day for a week and then dropping another the next week is generally advised.” As natural as breastfeeding may be, it’s far from a simple topic and is hardly one size fits all. There are a number of factors that will determine how long a person breastfeeds (if at all) and the exact course of action comes with general versus specific guidelines. “There is a lot of pressure around breastfeeding,” says Brooks. “And the best thing you can do is educate yourself and get support.” Next, read up on the app every breastfeeding mom should have.
Sources
Heidi Brooks, PhD, CLC, CSC, a fertility support practitioner and owner of EatSleepDreamKaty Linda, IBCLC, RLC, owner of The Breastfeeding DenDianne Cassidy, MA, IBCLC, ALC, CCE and co-creator of the Badass Breastfeeding Podcast
