We’re giving wardrobe guidance for men, women and nonbinary folx whether you are attending a wedding, fundraiser, work gathering, reunion, holiday party or some other fun and elevated celebration. With a little help, you’ll feel more confident in whatever you choose to wear, even if you were initially stressed and thinking, “What is cocktail attire?” Cocktail attire is one of the most common choices for weddings in recent years, probably because it feels elegant without being unattainable. Wedding couples want to see everyone looking their best, but they realize that not all their guests have a tuxedo or floor-length gown ready to go for such an occasion. This flexibility gives you plenty of room to play within the parameters of cocktail attire while showing your personality. After you’ve read our cocktail attire tips for men, women and nonbinary folx, you’ll have a better idea of what to wear to your next event, whether you choose something you already own or something you can buy or rent.
What Is Cocktail Attire?
Meredith Bartel, wedding planner and owner of Plus One Planning with 177k followers on TikTok, tells Parade, “I like to define ‘Cocktail Attire’ as ’the nicest thing you own,’ or, for those with a particularly lavish closet, ‘Nice….but not too nice.’” She elaborates, “‘Cocktail Attire,’ as a dress code, is often used synonymously with ‘Semi-Formal.’ Although there are a few important distinctions that separate the two, what they both have in common is that they both land in the ‘gray zone’ between Business Casual (or Casual Dress) and Formal/Black Tie.” So, the short answer is that cocktail attire is somewhere between casual and formal. It can help to think of a cocktail hour as happening between day and night. You wouldn’t wear the same thing to a lunchtime baby shower that you would wear to an evening symphony performance, for example. The time of day isn’t the only factor determining what cocktail attire looks like. Also consider who is inviting you, the venue where the event is taking place and the time of year. Outdoor venues will typically be less formal than indoor, and dress for a spring or summer event will look a little different from a fall or winter event. As a general rule, warmer months allow for lighter colors and fabrics. If you are still puzzled by the expectations for the event you’re attending, reach out and ask someone who will have specific answers related to the event itself. For a wedding, contact one of the mothers of the wedding couple, a primary wedding party member or the venue. For other events, try the venue or someone in charge of organizing festivities. In this @plusoneplanning TikTok video, which has 2.3 million views and counting, Bartel explains various wedding dress codes, including cocktail attire:
What’s the Difference Between Cocktail Attire and Semi-Formal Wear?
According to Bartel: While there may be an overlap between the two dress codes, (for suit-wearers, the dress codes are basically interchangeable, and for dress-wearers, there certainly are many that fall into both categories.) When I consider the differences, here are [the] most important to note: Cocktail attire tends to have a little more ‘pizzazz’ or an element of flashiness, whether that be sequins, ruffles, a sultry slit or neckline, or a surprising color. For dress-wearers, a cocktail event might see a crop-top two-piece set. Or [for] a suit-wearer, a sequined suitcoat and velvet loafers. Semi-formal attire tends to be more subdued in nature—think giving an important job presentation, or going out to a ritzy dinner with your in-laws. A nice semi-formal dress may be multifunctional in the boardroom, whereas a nice cocktail dress is ready to go and catch another round at the bar!
Cocktail Attire for Women
A “cocktail dress” can mean a lot of different things to different people but, in general, it means a dress that is knee-length or longer but not floor-length. It is more formal than a sundress and less risque than something you’d wear to a nightclub. The quintessential choice is a little black dress, but a dress isn’t the only appropriate cocktail attire option for women. A dressy suit or jumpsuit fits the bill, too. Cocktail attire doesn’t have to mean stuffy or bland. Find opportunities for self-expression with your shoes, jewelry, accessories, hairstyle, nails and embellishments. Bartel shares, “For women (or those comfortable wearing dresses), look for an outfit that makes you feel sexy! Whether you reach for a dress, or a skirt and blouse, you are looking for an element of fun, not formal. Pick one element that makes the outfit stand out—whether that be color, texture (sequin, feathers, ruffles), [or] shape (think neckline, hemline or cut-out). Your outfit should put you in the mood to party and feel your best!”
Cocktail Attire for Men
The best bet for men’s cocktail attire is a suit and tie. You can show your personal style with a bow tie or straight tie and add an extra touch with a pocket square, cuff links or other jewelry. For outdoor or slightly more casual affairs, you can opt for a jacket and tie instead of a full suit. Generally, dark shoes that match your belt and dark socks are recommended, but if you’re more fashionably adventurous, you can switch things up with more statement-making shoes or socks. Look to men’s style magazines for tips on taking smart fashion risks without committing a faux pas. Bartel adds, “For men (and all suit-wearers), when in doubt—a button-down shirt (with or without a tie), dress pants, and a blazer or suit coat are sufficient for cocktail attire. Or, lose the blazer, and throw on suspenders and a bowtie—also acceptable. If you are ready to branch into more stylistic choices, explore your closet for your nicest sweater to wear over your button-down. Don’t be afraid to utilize color, pattern and texture! One of the key elements of ‘cocktail attire’ is the element of FUN!” Cocktail attire leaves room for your personality, but it doesn’t mean going rogue. Jeans are a nope. Same with shorts. A non-collared shirt is also a solid no. You have plenty of days of the year to wear your comfiest duds. This is the time to turn it up a notch. Bonus: you’ll have some sharp-dressed photos for your dating profile or LinkedIn.
Cocktail Attire for Nonbinary Folx
“For those who are not comfortable in dresses, or prefer to dress outside of the binary—never fear, because ‘cocktail attire’ by its definition encourages playfulness and creative expression,” Bartel shares. “So, ultimately, wear whatever makes you feel your best, remember ’the nicest thing you own.’ So feel free to wear a well-tailored women’s suit, or wear a jumpsuit or romper. A chic pair of wide-leg pants with a crop top might be very cute!” Most importantly, you want to dress like you. If you’re most comfortable in a suit fitted perfectly to you, go that route. If you want to incorporate some elements that lean more masculine and some that are more feminine, feel free. Cocktail attire should make you feel your best. Pretty much the only rule when it comes to dressing for a wedding is not to upstage the wedding couple.
Cocktail Attire Etiquette
Once you’re outfitted in your ensemble, you’re free to enjoy the festivities, but suit jackets should stay on until after dinner or until the wedding party has removed theirs. If you have several related events to attend, such as a rehearsal dinner, wedding ceremony, wedding reception and post-nuptials brunch, ask a senior member of the wedding party or a knowledgeable family member about the dress code for each event, as they may vary. Next up, 30 Fabulous Fall Dresses!
