The show was so realistic, in fact, it’s been reported that the FBI actually recorded conversations of real organized crime families as they watched episodes of the show. “Is that supposed to us?” members of the DeCavalcante crime family are recorded as saying. Keep reading for the best Sopranos quotes from everyone from Tony and Carmela to Paulie and Junior.
Best Sopranos Quotes
- “You steer the ship the best way you know. Sometimes it’s smooth. Sometimes you hit the rocks. In the meantime, you find your pleasures where you can.” —Corrado Soprano (“Junior”)
- “It’s not a nursing home! It’s a retirement community.” —Tony Soprano
- “Pours you a drink with one hand. Judges you with the other if you take it.” —Christopher Moltisanti
- “Teddy Roosevelt once gave an entire speech with a bullet lodged in his chest. Some things are just a matter of duty.” —Junior Soprano
- “Some people take pleasure in the simple doing of things.” —Dr. Jennifer Melfi
- “Other people’s definitions of you, sometimes they’re more about making themselves feel better. You gotta define yourself.” —Christopher Moltisanti
- “Trees, ducks. What the — are you, Ranger Rick? I’ll tell you, some job you shrinks got! You think everybody is lying to you while you’re pulling scams on them!” —Tony Soprano
- “Sometimes we’re all hypocrites.” —Meadow Soprano
- “People only see what you allow them to see.” —Dr. Jennifer Melfi
- “In my thoughts, I used a technique of positive visualization. How come I always feel undermined?” —Christopher Moltisanti
Tony Soprano Quotes
- “All this from a slice of gabagool?” —Tony Soprano
- “What kind of person can I be, where his own mother wants him dead?” —Tony Soprano
- “I don’t care how close you are: in the end, your friends are gonna let you down. Family. They’re the only ones you can depend on.” —Tony Soprano
- “A grown man made a wager. He lost. He made another one—he lost again. End of story.” —Tony Soprano
- “Is this a woman thing? You ask me how I’m feeling. I tell you how I’m feeling, and now you’re going to torture me with it.” —Tony Soprano
- “You know when I was depressed I said I didn’t want to live? Well, I’ll tell you something—I didn’t want to die.” —Tony Soprano
- “I find I have to be the sad clown: laughing on the outside, crying on the inside.” —Tony Soprano
- “A wrong decision is better than indecision.” —Tony Soprano
- “I’m like King Midas in reverse here. Everything I touch turns to sh–.” —Tony Soprano
- “We’re soldiers. Soldiers don’t go to hell. It’s war. Soldiers kill other soldiers. We’re in a situation where everyone involved knows the stakes and if you are going to accept those stakes, you’ve got to do certain things. It’s business.” —Tony Soprano
Paulie Walnuts Quotes
21. “That’s why dinosaurs don’t exist no more.” —Paulie “Walnuts” Gualtieri 22. “You add up all your mortal sins and multiply that number by 50. Then you add up all your venial sins and multiply that by 25. You add that together and that’s your sentence. I figure I’m gonna have to do 6,000 years before I get accepted into heaven and 6,000 years is nothin’ in eternity terms. I can do that standing on my head. It’s like a couple of days here.” —Paulie “Walnuts” Gualtieri 23. “Your mother was working the bonbon concession at the Eiffel Tower.” —Paulie “Walnuts” Gualtieri 24. “I was born, grew up, spent a few years in the Army, a few more in the can. And here I am. A half a wise guy. So what?” —Paulie “Walnuts” Gualtieri 25. “She’s so fat, she goes campin’, the bears have to hide their food.” —Paulie “Walnuts” Gualtieri 26. “Don’t touch that! My program’s coming on.” —Paulie “Walnuts” Gualtieri 27. “Earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation, and amortization. It gives a true picture of a company’s profitability.” —Paulie “Walnuts” Gualtieri 28. “You’re not gonna believe this. The guy killed 16 Czechoslovakians. He was an interior decorator.” —Paulie “Walnuts” Gualtieri 29. “You’re Santa Claus. So, shut the — up about it.” —Paulie “Walnuts” Gualtieri 30. “When I was a kid, you two were old ladies. Now I’m old, and you two are still old.” —Paulie “Walnuts” Gualtieri
Livia Soprano Quotes
31. “She better not throw any artichokes at me.” —Livia Soprano 32. “I wish the Lord would take me now.” —Livia Soprano 33. “He goes to talk about his mother. That’s what he’s doing. He talks about me, he complains. ‘She didn’t do this, she did that.’ Oh, I gave my life to my children on a silver platter, and this is how he repays me.” —Livia Soprano 34. “You want that lamp?” —Livia Soprano 35. “I phoned your house. Some operator answered. I couldn’t understand a word she was saying.” —Livia Soprano 36. “I will never speak another word to you again, Settimia.” —Livia Soprano 37. “Daughters are better at taking care of their mothers than sons.” —Livia Soprano 38. “You know, somebody called here last night after dark… You think I’d answer? It was dark out!” —Livia Soprano 39. “Depressed? My father came to this country with 17 cents in his pocket and never made a peep. What’s he got to be depressed about? Nobody threw him into the glue factory, and sold his house out from underneath him!” —Livia Soprano 40. “You know if I was that young lady, and you came and took me to that dance, and used that kinda talk, I’d slap your face!” —Livia Soprano
Carmela Soprano Quotes
41. “Our existence on this Earth is a puzzle.” —Carmela Soprano 42. “Getting my wine in position to throw in your damn face.” —Carmela Soprano 43. “You know, Tony, it’s a multiple-choice thing with you. ‘Cause I can’t tell if you’re old-fashioned, you’re paranoid, or just a f—ing a–hole.” —Carmela Soprano 44. “After 19 years of marriage, I find it very sad that we have to pay someone to teach us how to interact.” —Carmela Soprano 45. “What’s different between you and me is you’re going to Hell when you die!” —Carmela Soprano 46. “It’s the Boston strangler… Jesus, Ma!” —Carmela Soprano 47. “I appreciate everything that you’ve done for me, Father Phil. The religious counseling, the book on Buddhism, the wonderful chats… But I think you need to look at yourself. Call this an intervention. I think you have this M.O. where you manipulate spiritually thirsty women. And I think a lot of it is tied up with food somehow, as well as the sexual tension game.” —Carmela Soprano 48. “We worry so much. Sometimes it feels like that’s all we do. But in the end, it just gets washed away. All of it just… just gets washed away.” —Carmela Soprano 49. “Psychology doesn’t address the soul—that’s something else—but, this is a start.” —Carmela Soprano 50. “We have got guns here.” —Carmela Soprano Next up, the best Ted Lasso quotes.
